Thursday, December 9, 2010

Getting a Bit Closer To Exams...

 Students' life is easy when you look at it from the perspective of someone who's not a student, but let me tell you something, it's one of the hardest things I know in my life. Just imagine this: you have to get up early because of the morning class, than you go get some cheap food because as a student you really can't afford eating at the restaurant every day. The other task day gives you is to wait three hours for another class, well you can spend it in the library, playing games, working on your homework, there's no such point of going home for half an hour and than travel by public transportation back to school. Late in the afternoon you go home and try to learn something because your exams are getting closer and you have to take care of all "To Do's"
 Well in the art schools it's little bit different. You don't have get up so early every single day, but you certainly get home very late. You can make your own schedule with some classes, like for example drawing and go there when it's most convenient for you. Other classes might seem very easy since you are not sitting in the desk listening some boring lecture about current situation in economy. The point of our classes is to discuss works, ideas and push each other further. Yes who wouldn't like this comparing to the other, but on the other hand, it can be quite frustrating. You come up with idea, idea, which you think is great and you start to talk about it and argue about it and than they will shut your idea down, or at least make you think it's the biggest piece of crap. And this repeats another meeting, and another and than you are just drowned, leaving school with bad thoughts. And you know it's harder and harder to get back there and tell something because of the fear again. Is this really how it's going to work?
 I had this little dream to be exceptional, the youngest and feminine but still respected in the mostly male collective. Now I just want to succeed with exams and maybe next year I could do something exceptional. I started with personal topics and yeah I guess I'm working on it... but it hurts when someone says it's not interesting at all and it's the same all female artists do. I am woman, I think like a woman, there's no need for me to act like a man and why does it have to be just wrong? I'm sick of all this idea when woman uses feelings she's weak and lame.
 Anyway, here I am... writing a post instead of thinking how to do the project, because to be honest I am lost as I never was.

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